Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Chins: part deux

The relationship between chins and beards is complex and often finely nuanced.
Those with very prominent man-chins may do well to balance their face with a mustache. Those whose chins are alive should not cover them with facial hair, out of respect. Those with butt-chins, such as my colleague (see previous post) have their own demons.

But some of us grow beards precisely because we have receded chins. It happens--don't judge.

According to the 2004 ed. Chinology Diagnostic Manual,

[a chin] is said to be receded if it meets at least two of the following three criteria:
(a) the distance between the lower lip and the bottom of the chin is less than 100th the length of the bridge of the nose.
(b) a profile of the face in question, as acquired by shadow tracing in a kindergarten class, shows that the chin is more that 3 ft. back from the tip of the nose, so long as the distance between said tip and the upper lip is not more than 1 ft.
(c) the person in question embarrassingly "misses" his target at least 50% of the times that he attempts to scratch his chin.

Well, it's time to come out of the closet: although you can't tell because of my beard, I have a receded chin.
In a bad enough case, you may want to consider wearing only a goatee--no mustache or beard... you'll have some serious compensation going on.
But, in a mild case, such as mine, facial hair of any sort (except Friendly Mutton Chops) should do the trick.

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