During my two years in the Israeli foreign legion--during which time I was made to wear a beard, of course--the unique luster of my beard secured my involvement with an elite special ops group, known then as the Facial Follicle Freedom Front. F4 operated undercover in Western society, dulling razor blades, filling Barbasol canisters with Rogain, and spreading pro-beard propaganda via subliminal messages in Cosmopolitan. Although our efforts produced something of a renaissance of goatees, and other half-hearted attempts at masculinity, full-orbed beardity was never realized en masse.
The Front has since been disbanded and my term with the Legion is up. But the spirit of F4 lives on...in the Better Beards Blog. Gentlemen, our cause is no light thing. Will you join us?
This is nothing less than a call to arms...to beards...whatever. Ditch your razor, despise the kisslessness of your misguided wife, and hold your head up high: you're a man--a bearded man--and I salute you.