Saturday, April 11, 2009

Follicide by Yank

It's a rare and brutal form of follicide when the hairs of the beard are actually pulled out from their moorings. The pain that accompanies this is akin to having your eyeballs skewered with toothpicks, but with a more lingering sensation.

Take this for instance: last night, we were at Scott's house, watching a movie. I had a rare moment of silliness swell up within my soul, and was acting baboonish while trying to kiss my wife. She began to laugh, and as I came in for the kiss, she (not paying attention and with her head thrown back in laughter) closed her mouth. Around my beard. Only a couple casualities resulted, but the effect was severe. After rubbing, jumping, and bashing my face into the wall (perhaps not that last one), the damage was still felt to the core of my face. Alas, men... let me warn you. Avoid the yanking death of a follicle, known as follicide by yank.

1 comment:

  1. I couldn't agree more... which is not to say that follicide by yank has ever been effected on my face via KISSING... but, there can be no doubt that follicide by yank is perhaps chief among the pains of men (or, at least approaching the pain potential of other pains of men).
    It's bad. Really, really bad.