When you enter a fist-fight, the popular myth is that having a beard puts its wearer at a distinct disadvantage. It's a liability that can be yanked on and used to throw one to the ground. This, however, is not the case for those in the know. A beard is, in fact, an excellent defensive mechanism against a potential attacker.
Imagine with me, a beard just at the bristly stage. As an incoming punch approaches the face, one thinks that definite damage would occur. Instead, the punch is not only cushioned by the beard, but the beard acts to do damage to the hand of the attacker. If honed just right, the attacker's hand will come away bloody.
Of course, the problem with such a finely sharpened beard is that less loving from one's wife is likely to occur. Say goodbye to kisses, and hugs are certainly in jeopardy as well.